Grandma Rae

Today was my Grandma Webb's funeral. She passed away almost 2 weeks ago, on December 21st (my brother Matt's birthday) but today was the day that worked best for her very large family to gather together for her funeral. I hadn't shed many tears about her death until today. Today they just kept coming. I am not particularly sad that she is gone. I do miss her and I'm sad that I won't see her for a long time (hopefully), but I am at peace with her death for many reasons. She was 91 years old and lived a long full life. She has also been going downhill for many months so I was able to prepare myself before it happened. Most of all I am so happy for her. My dad called me about 10 minutes after she passed to tell me she was gone. I felt sad and shed a few tears but then almost immediately I pictured what she was probably doing right at that moment. She was being reunited with my Grandpa who died almost 20 years ago, as well as her son Alan, her granddaughter Amberlee, her grandson-in-law Joe, her sister Virginia, and her parents as well as her many friends and not to mention her loving Savior. She was free of her earthly body and the many cares of this world. I think it was hard for her to go and leave her children, especially her daughters who she knew would be heartbroken by her passing. She had 9 children and one "adopted" daughter (Eva wasn't officially adopted was she?)  My dad is the 8th of the 9. She had 46 grandchildren and 66 great grandchildren (so far). Wow thats a lot of people to love and miss her. 

Anyway, I think the reason I couldn't stop crying today was because everything was just so perfect. I think that after somebody dies its so easy to remember only the good about that person and forget the bad and its easy to think of that person as being practically perfect in every way. But with my Grandma, she genuinely was about as perfect as they come. She may have been about the second most perfect person to walk this earth. My Aunt Julie gave a beautiful talk about my Grandma and told the perfect story that is just so descriptive of the person she was. One day at their family dinner, Grandma was over and they were telling her to say the absolute meanest thing that she could possibly think of about Corey (her grandson-in-law) so she sat there and got this little "mean" scrunched up face and said, "Corey, you are so...... rotten!" Haha, that's the meanest thing she could come up with! She never said a mean thing about anybody and her life was devoted to her children and grandchildren. I learned from her obituary that she served in many callings in the church including Den Mother, Relief Society President, but her favorite was Relief Society Teacher. I also learned (or probably re-learned) that her anniversary is August 9th. Mine is August 10th and my other grandparents' anniversary is the 11th. How cool is that? It must be a magical time to get married because it seems to produce strong happy marriages.  I also met her 2 younger sisters today. I feel awful that I didn't even know that she had 2 living sisters still. She was the oldest of 4 girls but one of her sisters died many years ago from cancer. I am sad that I don't know them at all. I am told that she was really close to her sisters. I guess that is one thing we have in common.

Coming away from her funeral I feel so inspired. If I could be half the woman she was I would be so proud. After I am gone I want to be remembered the way she is being remembered. As somebody who devoted her life to serving others and uplifting those around her, somebody who never spoke a mean word, someone who gave everything she had to her family and cried when they cried and laughed when they laughed. Somebody who had an unshakable testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and taught it to her family. Somebody who was so beautiful and had the most beautiful smile with the cutest dimple. I can still hear her voice and her adorable laugh. I can smell her and feel her soft skin. She was so silly and said the funniest things ever! After she started losing her mind she started telling people all the miraculous things she had done. She claimed that she had been on "that ship that sank... you know, the Titanic" and apparently she was having a sleepover at Elizabeth Smart's house the night she got kidnapped.  Oh she was a funny lady whether she was trying to be or not. Her favorite necklace was a strand of silver mardi gras beads that she probably got at Julie's New Year's party or something. She wore it non-stop! 
I have such a long way to go to be like her. I am far to self-absorbed with my own problems and issues. This year my goal is to be more like my Grandmothers. I have two incredible Grandmothers who I look up to so much and who I want to be just like. 

I love you the most, Grandma.

Grandma Rae at her 90th Birthday Party on June 17th 2010

 Though days seem dark, and joy is gone.

And we are left all alone in despair.

Though troubles rage through endless age

And many have ceased to care.

Let our hearts express our faith and hope

As we kneel at eventide.

For though the future may seem clouded

How can we fail with God as our guide?

Let us be free from selfishness,

Cease to wear a troubled frown.

Let's spread cheer among our fellow man

Smile, let hate not get us down.

Giving thanks will bring us new courage,

As we kneel at eventide,

And the future will take on new brilliance

How can we fail with God as our guide?

-Rachael Christensen Webb

Liahona, May 26, 1942- Published